Babies and Facebook

As I get older *sigh*, it seems as though more and more of my friends are jumping on to the baby bandwagon.  I know it was inevitable but that still doesn’t mean I have to like it.  Facebook has obviously allowed a lot of us to keep in touch with current and past connections and this can be a good…and bad thing.  Below are just a few observations I’ve noticed on my daily FB newsfeed.

1. 4-D ultrasound pictures or any ultrasound/sonogram picture for that matter as your Facebook profile picture. And it begins…  Not only are they creepy as hell (everyone with me on this?), but this is step one of losing your identity to anything outside of being a parent.  Great.  We get it.  You’re happy you’re with child, but do you really have to turn it into your profile photo?  I’m not saying you can’t post them at all, but from now on whenever I think of you, I’m just going to associate you with a squishy-looking sepia blob, and is that what you want?  (Although we know the answer for some people out there).
2. Status TMI.  Obviously, TMI comes in various forms but I’m just talking about anything baby related that I just didn’t need to know about.  Mothers seem to be more guilty of this than fathers are.  There were two offending ones that occurred this week that spring to mind.  One girl brought up that she couldn’t decide whether to go pump some breastmilk (and then a slew of mommies responded with all sorts of “supply” tips…ugh).  The next one talked about how good a mother she must be because she didn’t even mind holding out her hands to catch her daughter’s vomit.  Eww.  Eww. Eww!  I have a bad habit of checking Facebook on my Blackberry before I even hop out of bed in the mornings (or stumble out of…) and this is something that I couldn’t handle fully prepared, much less before I’ve had a shower and a cup (or three) of coffee.
3. Status Comment Hijacking. We’ve all seen it.  Someone posts something absolutely benign and all it takes is for one person to make a comment, another person to ask commenting person about their kids and it’s like a runaway train.  People take over the poor person’s original status by writing novels about their kids.  People, that’s great if you want to know about someone else’s family/life, but email or send them a private message about it.  It’s annoying to read comments on my wall about someone else asking someone else if their child is potty trained yet.

Obviously, there are more offenses being committed out there on a regular basis.  What are some that you all have encountered?

Back from the Dead

Wow…has it been a while or what?  I want to apologize for my lack of posting for the last few months.  This year has been…let’s just say, not what I expected.  I need to do a little background info and venting so be prepared for a bit of a ride.  First and foremost, I am now single once again.  Basically, my husband and I decided that our relationship was no longer a positive factor in either of our lives.  Fortunately, it was mutual and easy to handle so in the grand scheme of things, it was fairly quick and relatively inexpensive.

I still have the house and it’s been fun getting to redecorate it to exactly my tastes and make it “mine” and not “ours”.  I’m very glad that I have some kick-ass friends and family who have been extremely supportive this whole time.  I can honestly say I’m happier than I’ve been in years.  He was the type who had become extremely controlling, and I’m the type that well, let’s just say, you can’t control.  Give me an “order” and I’m likely going to give you a “F*ck you” look and go do my own thing anyway.  We just ended up being too different.  It was the ol’ growing apart and into two different people thing.   In a way, I feel like I have my old life back.  No one to text me every 5 minutes while I’m out having Wednesday night margaritas with the girls, no one to give me hell if I want to veg out in front of the TV and watch Project Runway, no one to freak out at me if I don’t unplug the toaster in the morning before I leave for work (he had to unplug EVERYTHING each morning, including the televisions and lamps), etc.  It’s been nice.

I think one of the things I’m happiest about is that I have my best friend back.  No, this isn’t one of those philosophical “best friend=myself” deals.  I have reconnected with one of my best friends from college after about 2 years of only sporadically talking to each other via only IM.  “Sam” and I had one of those relationships in college where we were just friends, nothing more, even though everyone else was convinced otherwise, because we did just about everything together and our personalities just mesh really well.  I can’t tell you how many times we’d go to lunch and end up sitting there talking for 3-4 hours.  However, after he finished undergrad (he’s a couple years older than me) he moved to a different state to go to law school about the same time I began dating my now Ex-hubs.  We still somewhat kept in touch but it was hard since the ex-hubs would freak out at the mere mention of Sam or anything having to do with him.  However, about the time things started going downhill in the marriage earlier this year, we somehow got back in touch with each other and it really seemed like we just picked up where we left off.  In the past year, he has moved back down in my general area.  Instead of being several states away, he’s now only 2 hours from where I live.  And while we can’t exactly do 3-hour long lunches anymore, we have had evening IM conversations that have gone that long if not longer and I get the occasional witty text from him while I’m at work.  Even though I’ve got some great girl friends (because we all need those), I think having such a good friend like him helped make these past few months much easier.

And now that I’ve got that mess behind me, yes, I am going to plan to start blogging on a more regular basis once again.  There’s always something to talk about in the childfree world, and it’s somewhat therapeutic for me so I may occasionally throw in a personal post every now and then.

You don’t say?!

In my daily rundown of news articles, I came across a particularly interesting one today on MSNBC.com. While the majority of childfree folks already realize that not having kids eliminates a huge stress that is added to a relationship and see it as an added perk, this is news to many others. And while I agree that not having kids does not automatically mean your marriage will be successful (as I am finding out), it does seem to automatically tip the odds in your favor. After all, sadly, many marriages today are not built on firm foundations and once you add a child into the equation, it can go beyond shaking things up. It’s 24/7/365 work, it’s stressful, it leaves less “alone” time, etc. To put it mildly, once you pop out that kid, your life will never be the same no matter how deep you stick your head into the sand and pretend that nothing’s changed.
Childfree couples (married or not) don’t have that stress and limitations. That doesn’t mean they don’t have others unique to each couple, but they don’t have the child-bearing/child-raising stressors. They have more time to focus on each other, they have more freedom to go and do things as they please, etc. Breeders will call this selfish, but whatever.

By the way, I have noticed quite a few news articles pop up lately on the childfree life, sterilization and whatnot in regards to the struggling economy. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to post on each and everyone of them, but has anyone else noticed the same trend?

There Should be Leash Laws for Children…

Sorry for the long absence.  I’ve had a lot going on lately with work, personal issues, etc., but anyway, on to the topic du jour!

I’ve mentioned before that I have shown horses since I was 8 years old.  One of my pet peeves is when people just turn their children loose at these events.  Not only is it annoying, but it is also extremely dangerous both for the kids and others around them.  This is a common complaint among many people but there are many parents who just don’t seem to care.

There have been times where I, as well as other people, have been in the show ring when a bunch kids have gone running up and down metal bleachers.  Sometimes this is even a distraction for the veteran show horses, but with some of the young, inexperienced ones, it can really scare them.

I also hate the attitude that some breeders have that they expect everyone else to watch their kids.  Of course, this is common everywhere but maybe I just notice it more at shows when I’m constantly around 1000 pound animals.  I’ve seen them get into things, ride bicycles right behind a horse, run up and down the barn aisles, etc.  At this point, it’s not just about it being extremely annoying, it’s about SAFETY.  The safety of them, the animals, and other people.  Ironically, the few instances I’ve seen, it never seems to be the kids or their parents that get hurt (not that I want ANYONE to be hurt or put in any danger), but usually one of the riders or horses.

Understand that I’ve been around horses all of my life.  As soon as I could sit up without anyone holding me, my mom had me on a horse.  However, she drilled it into my head that I had to be careful and well behaved around them.  If she caught me so much as running around them, there was hell to pay.  Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of this logic has gone the way of the dinosaurs.  There’s been times it’s been tempting to lock a rogue brat in a stall.

The best sign I ever saw was at a vendor’s booth.  This could be useful in so many places.

Television’s Officially Hit Rock Bottom

We all know that television these days can be occasionally…well…disappointing.  However, even on my most desperate days, I can’t imagine anyone willingly watching this.

It’s bad enough that they’re everywhere in the media, but why on earth would anyone want to watch a play by play of this trainwreck.  I mean, why hasn’t her body just gone on strike already?  Hasn’t she worn it out yet?  I can’t stand to think about that for too long as it just makes me do a full body shiver.  And now the breeding shenanigans will be on television.  Cable television has officially hit rock bottom.  How desperate (or deranged) do you have to be to actually want to watch this.  For those that say the childfree aren’t doing their part by contributing to the population, she’s already had our kids for us.  It’s been taken care of.

On the other hand, this could be one of the most effective forms of birth control.  After watching this, you’re just not in the mood anymore.

Happy (Early) Halloween!

This was sent to me earlier today from a friend who saw it on www.extremepumpkins.com and with Halloween being a mere few days away, it was just too good not to share.

Happy Halloween, folks.

Nail head? Meet hammer.

In the third and final presidential debate tonight, the topic of abortion was finally brought up.  Afterwards, I watched an online video on msnbc.com where they asked Rachel Maddow and Pat Buchanan their thoughts.  Rachel Maddow was completely spot on when she said it comes down to how much say we want the government to have in our reproductive rights. 
See for yourself.

Ms. Maddow, my hat is off.

***Okay, so it looks like there is some technical difficulties with msnbc.com. Instead of clicking the link and conveniently going straight to video, you’ll have to scroll down and select the video “Abortion Highlights Candidates’ Contrasts. Sorry about that, folks.

Do I look like I care?

It seems like lately, everyone has a pregnancy announcement.  I know the reaction that everyone expects to get upon breaking the news is squeals of excitement and joy from all within earshot.  Not me, I just feel the overwhelming urge to upchuck.  I’m sorry (not really) that I don’t get excited and giddy when someone else announces that they too will be popping out a kid.  So you can have sex and get pregnant.  It’s not exactly the hardest thing to do (for most people).  If it were, you would not have as many children running, screaming around restaurants.

I have no maternal instinct.  None.  Nadda.  The thought of having something growing inside of me seriously wigs me out.  It’s enough to make me run screaming from the room.  I know I’m not alone in those thoughts.  So, if you are expecting, goody for you.  Just don’t expect me to start planning your baby shower.  Seriously, if you never told me at all, that would suit me just fine because everytime someone spills the beans about their “condition”, the only thing that goes through my mind is “another one bites the dust.”

A Friendly PSA (not CF-related)

I try not to post too many off-topic posts here, but I figure this could benefit many of my readers, so I’m breaking my own rule.  If you don’t already do so, please consider getting an external harddrive and consistently backing up your files.  Most people don’t think about this until after tragedy strikes and they lose all their files.

Saturday night, I get home and I find that my computer has kicked the bucket.  It had reached the point, it could not even find the harddrive to start up.  I’m sure I could have gotten it fixed, but it was 4 years old, and was already outdated for my needs.  Fortunately, I have an external harddrive and backup software that automatically backs up everything every night, so I lost nothing. However, I know that many aren’t so lucky.  Trust me, it is worth the little bit of initial investment.  It was bad enough having my computer croak, but it would have just added insult to injury had I lost everything.  As it was, I was able to plug my external harddrive into my new computer and there everything was.  Definitely a relief.

I hadn’t planned on replacing my computer quite this soon, but I knew it was coming.  On the up side, I have a new toy to play with.

Politics and Fertility Icons

Has anyone seen this article?

I occasionally talk about my political opinions, but I try not to make this a political blog as the childfree subject matter is sensitive enough without having to pour 5 gallons of kerosene onto the fire.  However, the upcoming US election is obviously a hot topic at home as well as other places.  I hadn’t posted about the Republican VP nominee, Sarah Palin, until now.  Those of you who read my blog regularly probably can figure out what my opinion is of her (pssst…it’s less than favorable).  I was trying to put off posting about it until just the right thing inspired me too, and the above article was the final straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back.

Seriously, a fertility symbol?  Of course, I can’t say that I’m at all surprised as she keeps popping out the kids and her first grandchild will be less than a year younger than her youngest child.  Don’t think about that one too long folks…it’ll make your head hurt.  I highly encourage you to go read the whole thing, but I’ll point out some of the highlights.

Granted, much of this all plays out at a subconscious, even primal (and, therefore, difficult to measure) level, but Palin’s successful mothering of five children, one of whom is now pregnant herself, surely conveys to voters a deeply powerful message of prosperity, health, growth and success.

Did anyone else just throw up in their mouth? You just can’t make this shit up. Seriously? There’s just too much going on in this one, long sentence. “Conveys to voters a deeply powerful message of prosperity, health, growth and success.” Just because you can have kids, doesn’t mean that you’ll have all four of those things. In fact, I tend to think you’ll have quite the opposite in most cases. It just goes with the old “Once you’re a mother your life is complete and that’s the only way your life will be complete” crap that is shoved down our throats day in and day out. And SECOND, I just can’t pass up the opportunity to point out them using the terms “successful mothering” and “one of whom is now pregnant herself” in the same sentence. Uh…WHAT? But excuse me…I guess as long as more babies are being produced, everything is just peachy, it doesn’t matter the circumstances.

What exactly is so “patriotic” about a large family? For starters, bigger is practically always better when it comes to great powers.

Ahh…yes, the ol’ Breed For Your Country ploy. Now, not only is the Right accusing anyone who is slightly Left of being un-patriotic, now they’re trying to imply that if you’re not breeding, you’re not doing your part to help your country. Au contraire!

So, while any portrayal of Sarah Palin as some sort of iconic representation of fertility or fecundity might seem far-fetched, it is entirely possible that the images of her with her five children will have a positive and perhaps fateful impact on voters this November.

If so, it would be the mother of all political success stories.

OMG…there just are no words, NO WORDS. I’m so disgusted by this piece of “journalism” that I, for once have just run out of things to say in addition to being just so miffed (putting it mildly).

And another little tidbit for the masses:

Firmly committed environmentalists and deeply entrenched feminists, to name two important groups, are not likely to respond positively to Palin’s ability to produce a Baby-Boom-sized brood, but they are not the types who would ever vote Republican anyway.

Damn straight. Nice to see you got something right. Give ‘em a cookie…

Have at it!  I know there’s bound to be some hot opinions on this one and I’m really looking forward to the discussion.