Childfree Resentment

It’s always interesting to hear what parents or even those planning to have children are saying about the childfree. There is always some resentment/jealousy intertwined with their words. They don’t even have to be talking TO the childfree, sometimes, it’s just ABOUT them.

Let me give you an example. The other day, I was in a department meeting when the subject came up about where one woman (who happens to be childfree as well) was vacationing. Two women (both with children) quipped that the childfree woman and her husband were vacationing in the U.S. Virgin Islands, and “why couldn’t she just go to Disneyworld like everyone else?” A.) It’s not any of their business where she decided to spend her vacation B.) Why not go somewhere exotic and secluded if you have the time and money and are childfree? I, for one, would pick anywhere sunny and tropical over a place like Disneyworld which is going to be bursting at the seams of families. Obviously, there is a huge resentment factor here. I think it’s a little bit of resenting the fact that they can’t just “up and go” on, what sounds like, an awesome vacation, and a little bit of resentment that someone else CAN because they have chosen not to have Resentment #1. To me, it reminds me of someone who takes a bite of something horrible and says it’s horrible and then offers you a bite. If they should have to suffer and do without, then, in their minds, everyone should have to do the same. Complete BS.

The next scenario played out at a company lunch, all women. Somehow, we got on the topic of one of the women’s sister. The subject came up that said sister and her husband are both very successful and pulling in close to 6 figures a piece. (Wouldn’t all CF’s love that?) Anyway, one of the other girl’s snipped, “And to top it off, they don’t even have any kids!” Oh the horrors! No children, and all that money! My response was, “Good for them!” (and in a genuine, non-sarcastic way) Of course, I was then the subject of every glare at the table.

What I always tell those with children or who are planning to have children, that it is their CHOICE. No one is putting/put a gun to their head and told them to have kids. They chose to go that route. We chose to go the opposite one and yet, we’re the ones that always get blasted for it. Obviously, in most cases, it is out of sheer jealousy and resentment, not so much because people are set on “preserving” the human race for generations to come and have made it their mission to make sure more babies are born.

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