Childfree House vs. Child-proofed House
The great thing about not having kids (well…one of the MANY great things) is that my house is in much better order than any child-proofed suburbanite home. Hearing about some of the horrors that children can do to a home makes me breathe a sigh of relief to know that I won’t ever have to go through that. For starters, I only have to pick up after myself (and my husband, but he’s a neat-freak so it’s not a big deal). If I trip over something in the middle of the night, it’s because I left it there, not some snot-nosed little brat who has 8 million toys and is still wanting everything they see advertised on Nickelodeon and will pitch a fit to get it.
My walls will never have to fear a crayon, and my carpets will never worry about grape juice stains. I can have simple, fashionably painted walls that don’t look reminiscent of primary colors and a pre-K classroom. I don’t have to worry about spending a bundle to put locks on my cabinets and padding the edges and corners of my coffee table. I can have modern, stylish furniture, and not butt-ugly things that were purchased only because they could withstand the beatings from “inquisitive” (read: bratty) toddlers. While parents/breeders are installing massive living room storage areas for the trillions of toys (which will probably never be put away), I’m thinking more along the lines of a wet bar.
We can also have a nice, landscaped yard that is not littered with tricycles and toys with the main focal point the sandbox and swing-set, but a gorgeous patio for those nights when we have our few childfree friends over for a few drinks.
Now, why is it that the parents/breeders try to convince us that their world is the ultimate paradise? Am I missing something? I don’t think so. I’d take my life over theirs any day of the week. The thought of cleaning peanut butter out of the DVD player, or my nicest “glassware” being sippy-cups, is enough to make me want to jump in front of the next bus that goes by.
August 23, 2007 at 8:51 pm
I sooo agree. I absolutely adore our Manhattan apartment… and the fact that we only have to share it with our cat. It’s decorated exactly the way I want it, and the main concerns in how it’s set up are how easy it is for me to fix myself a cocktail after work and how comfortable I will be on my couch in front of the TV watching Entourage — not how I can best arm it against some dumb kid.
August 24, 2007 at 5:09 am
Too true. I have a great (sometimes bordering on unhealthy) love for books and I realized the other day that it would be impossible to maintain my collection with children anywhere near it. The first time one of them would rip a page, spill milk on one, or draw on the cover would be enough for me to want to kill them!
August 29, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I absolutely LOVE this piece. May I have your permission to post it [w/appropriate credit and a link of course] in a CF group that’s very active on MySpace? I know everyone else there would also nod in agreement.
I live in suburbia and I can’t tell you how many of those stupid plastic tricycles I see in front of expensive homes — so you KNOW the insides look like Toys R Us stores.
Peanut butter in the DVD player? Oh HELL no. Not in my house!
Our home is exceedingly non child-friendly. We have acid-stained concrete floors that are polished and waxed regularly; you can slide from one room to another in your socks. Imagine Bratleigh falling and busting his ass twelve times a day? No way.
August 29, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Childfree in NYC: I absolutely agree that pets are so much easier to have around the house than kids. I don’t even want to imagine what my nerves would be like if I had to constantly pick up after them.
Bookchronicle: Ah yes…I have a few things that tiny hands are not to touch. Heck, I consider myself one of them.
Stepher: Sure! Have at it. It’s funny how so many that are childfree can tell the same story.
August 29, 2007 at 10:58 pm
Thanks, Mel.
I reposted in the group, Childfree And Lovin’ It.
Here’s the URL: http://forum.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&entryID=41574369&groupID=101124498&adTopicID=23&Mytoken=5DA7002A-9788-4FBF-9413C4E7BBD4CD2741832538
If you have a MySpace do join us. I’ve met some of the most incredible people through this particular group.
BTW, I read your profile and I’m just north of you near Huntsville so there are at least TWO of us in this state – LOL.
Thanks again!
September 4, 2007 at 2:14 pm
I LOVE your blog! I am putting it in my bloglines right now!!
PS I found you through the Childfree Myspace group Stepher told you about
September 6, 2007 at 10:33 am
Great piece about CF houses….it’s great to come home at night, pour a cold beer, roll-up a little something, watch or listen to whatever I feel like at any given time, eat (or not eat) whatever we feel like for (whenever we feel like) dinner, sleep in on weekends….ad best of all, NO CONSTANT STENCH OF THE COMBINATION OF BABY POWDER/ BABY SHIT SMELL THAT LINGER IN MOST KIDDIE-HOUSEHOLDS !!!
My wife was visiting her brother, his wife, and their two kids….and his wife spent half the time moaning about how hard it is (..she spends most of the day glued to daytime t.v. ..). Finally, my wife had enough of the moaning and blurted out “…well, you should have thought of that before having them…” That pretty much did the trick…….
August 25, 2008 at 5:39 pm
I am with you on this one! My husband and I are very happily childfree. Our home is a sanctuary. This is so far removed from the chaos that is the home life of parents of young children. I do not like loud noises (well, unless they are coming from a punk rock band at
a concert). I don’t like picking up after other people. I do love being childfree!
Our cats can be high maintenance, but this I can deal with!