Wedding brats
I stumbled across this article the other day, and I must admit, I was pretty irked by the time I finished the last paragraph. The author is basically saying that children should be attending any and every wedding regardless of whether or not they were invited. There were many things that ticked me off while reading this and each one seemed to peeve me more than the last. I’ll outline them for you.
For those who think the attention should be on the bride, not the kids, this is a problem.
Um…excuse me? While I’m not entirely sold on it being solely the “bride’s day” (there are TWO people getting married after all), I do believe that the whole reason that there is even a wedding at all is because of the couple. OF COURSE, they should have the spotlight on them, not some screaming kid. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, do you? Why should the wedding, that has more than likely had mucho dollars poured into it, revolve around a bunch of bratty kids? Am I the only one that this sentiment just rubs the wrong way? Let’s continue…
Children belong at wedding celebrations more than anyone else. They are a central reason for couples to marry.
AAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!! I can’t even beginning to tell you what is utterly messed f*cked up with this one. The central reason for couples to marry? SERIOUSLY? What century are you living in pal? For most people (I hope), marrying isn’t just about popping out kids. Unfortunately, that seems to be a by-product of marriage in so many cases, but for those of you still stuck in the middle ages, marriage is NOT ABOUT POPPING OUT BRATTY CHILD AFTER BRATTY CHILD. Hell, you don’t even have to be married to do that, just ask Hollywood, they seem to be very talented at getting knocked up out of wedlock. Marriage should be about a relationship between two people, not just getting legally bound to some one else for the sake of procreation.
Of course one way to handle the problem of kids at weddings is to do what you want. The RSVP process isn’t followed very strictly by many people, anyway, and there are instances where couples stick a lengthy list of uninvited children names on the return invitation or simply just show up with a flock. You’d think that might tell wedding planners something.
Sure, you didn’t invite my precious, little Johnny. However, who the hell cares what you want even though you’re the one getting married and (in most cases) shelling out the dough for the big shebang. I’m going to bring my screaming, cranky child to your formal, evening wedding. Isn’t it cute the way he cries like a banshee all through your vows?
And they called the people who want to have a childfree wedding (or just the childfree in general) “selfish”? This is a prime example of the “Hooray for me (and my child) and to hell with you” attitude that has so many childfree advocates bitter toward the childed. I remember when I was little, and there were several times when my parents went to weddings. And guess what? They got a sitter for my brother and I, and were happy to do so. We were at home WHERE WE BELONGED. That way, we wouldn’t be bored out of our minds and start causing a fuss, and they (along with everyone else) wouldn’t have to worry about watching us and could just enjoy themselves. This must be an outdated thought process among parents today.
Why don’t you go read the whole thing? Nothing like a load of stupidity to top off your Monday, right?
May 20, 2008 at 9:25 am
I love how she thinks caterers just offer free meals for kids. Since when?
I don’t see the point in serving food to the kids, anyway — they won’t eat it or they’ll just pick at it and leave most of it there. If the parents think the kid needs to eat, they can bring a snack from home or share their own meal with the kid. No sense in the hosts of the party having to pay to feed their kids!
May 20, 2008 at 9:24 pm
We made it very clear to everyone that no human or scotch under the age of 13 were permitted at our wedding. There were a few who bitched and moaned but respected our decision. Most of the parents welcomed an evening of adult fun and applauded our standing up to those who did not share in our beliefs. Children do not belong at evening affairs that last well past their bedtime. And I too am baffled as to what planet the writer of this post is from, my caterer charged $120 a person regardless to whether they were 8 months, 8 years or 80.
Those who chose not to have children at their wedding need to stick to their guns even if it pisses people off. Guess what? They eventually get over it.
May 23, 2008 at 9:14 am
I was so angered by this article. My mom and stepdad paid for our wedding and I made it clear I wanted no kids. The only child allowed was my cousins who did a reading for us and he was a month old and you didn’t even know he was there. The author says children belong at a wedding more than anyone else who is he kidding. I am selfish enough to think that it was our day and no one elses. Kids running around are just a pain. I just wouldn’t have it.
Jenn
May 28, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Three wedding experiences I’d like to relate:
1. I was Maid of Honor for a friend and she had made clear that NO children were allowed. NONE. If you weren’t on the invite, you weren’t to be admitted. One of her relatives showed up with 4 kids, ages infant to 11 and a “friend” showed up with her 5 year old twins. Both families were blocked by the ushers at the door, given a handout with directions to the nearest open daycare facility and told to return sans kids or not at all. The relative pitched a fit, but eventually left and didn’t return. The “friend” got snippy, but returned mid-ceremony without her brats. The wedding couple had a lovely day, as did their attending guests—without children.
2. I was a guest at a wedding and the invitations had stated specifically “no children, please. No matter how well-behaved you feel your child is, our wedding is not appropriate for children”. Well, several families brought their brats and were told at the door “this really isn’t going to be a ceremony where children should be present”. They ignored the ushers and came on out to the garden. The kids were being kids and making all kinds of noise….until the wedding party appeared…naked….on the dais. Yep, it was a neo-pagan wedding and the wedding couple opted to exchange their vows before their deities in the buff. The ceremony was paused while the families with kids departed posthaste, everyone else had a good laugh, and the ceremony continued. Hey, you can’t say they weren’t warned.
3. Another friend was nearly killed by a kid on her wedding day. They too had requested “no kids” on the invitation. They too, were ignored. Several children were running around the church EVEN AS THE PROCESSIONAL BEGAN. The mother thought it was darling how little precious was “playacting being the bride”. Fun and games ended when “precious” knocked over the 6-foot candle stand at the far end of the aisle, which fell and caught the bride’s train on fire. The bride lost a bit of hair as several attendents attempted to pull the train off before her gown caught fire. Mother and precious were escorted out and sent a bill from the church for damages, the wedding was postponed to the next week, my friend had to be sedated and when the mother RETURNED FOR THE CEREMONY WITH THE CHILD IN TOW the next week, the groom intercepted her and said “you have got to be out of your fucking mind!” and threw her out.
Children don’t belong at weddings….PERIOD!
May 28, 2008 at 7:32 pm
“We made it very clear to everyone that no human or scotch under the age of 13 were permitted at our wedding.”
THAT is brilliant. =)
“Children belong at wedding celebrations more than anyone else. They are a central reason for couples to marry.”
Okay, now that is just bullshit. You know who belongs at weddings? Only the specific people invited on the invitations, that’s who.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. The Breeder Bullshit!
June 5, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Mel Harmon, LOVE your stories! Poor bride (3rd story)! I hope the woman was made to pay for the dress, etc., not only the damage in the church. What was her reaction the second time around?
June 5, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Thanks, Mrs. Ogre. No, the bride didn’t hit up the idiot mother for the cost of replacing the train—she was just happy to get out of it with her dress in one piece. As for the mother’s reaction when she was tossed out by the groom after appearing WITH THE KID for the second service, she just kept saying “but it’s not HER fault. She’s a CHILD!”. No shit, lady. She’s a KID and the invitation specifically said NO KIDS. Stupid Entitle-MOO. The groom told her, and I quote: “Get the fuck out, stay the fuck out, and learn to read!”. He had marched back from the alter to toss her (the ushers would have done it, but the groom was faster). Half the church cheered. It was awesome! And this couple recently celebrated their 21st anniversary….and are still happily childfree!
June 5, 2008 at 7:02 pm
WoW! What a great story! Wanna bet that the kid ruled at home and will ditch the idiot mother in an old folks’ home when she’s old?
I can’t believe the nerve of some people!
June 21, 2008 at 4:24 pm
If and when I ever get married, and if it’s the traditional-and-hugely-expensive affair my parents envision, children will NOT be allowed at the main event or the reception. A wedding is (hopefully) something that happens once in your entire lifespan. Once. It will be made quite clearly to prospective guests that anyone under 13 will be persona non grata, as will their handlers if they show up at the door with them in tow.
Daycare will not be in the budget. You want to organize one, fine. They’re not my kids and I ain’t paying for them. I already do that with my taxes and I hate it.
September 13, 2008 at 1:34 pm
My husband and I had a blissfully childfree wedding. We took control by paying for and planning the event ourselves, inviting only family and close friends. We made it clear to invitees that children would not be admitted to the ceremony and reception. Yes, I had to deal with protests from my mother and future mother-in-law, but my fiance and I told them that they had had their weddings, and this was ours. Fortunately, no one tried to bring their brats — but none would have gotten in because some of my fiances friends kindly played bouncer. We’ve had more than 10 years of wedded childfree bliss — far longer than many childed couples we know.
March 16, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Kids, in general, really don’t appreciate going to weddings anyway and would be more than happy to stay at home with a sitter. As a kid I hated being dragged to weddings and I would only bring my kids to a wedding if I was told by the couple that they wanted them there. Making a kid behave at a wedding is really kind of like child abuse, isn’t it? I know I’m still a little traumatized from having to sit still (at 7 years old) through a wedding that had a full Catholic mass as part of the ceremony.
October 13, 2009 at 6:08 am
Wow that article. O.o People like that just make me rage.
Of the few weddings I went to as a child I hated them, sure I got some nice clothes from it but my god was it boring! Probably what put me off having a church wedding to begin with!
We’ll be having a childfree wedding this Saturday and I couldn’t be more happy. I despise H2B’s bratty cousins and thankfully he agrees so they were swiftly removed from any possible guest list with a very convincing cover story. It’s caused for some rather amusing and childish drama from his extended family who now “unfortunately” can’t make it on the day.
If they do try to show up with hell spawn in tow they’re going to get a fab surprise as we’ve changed the time of the wedding since first inviting them and very quickly filled the spaces with some more of our childfree friends!